“I WON’T ASK ADVICES FROM YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT HIGHER THAN ME”

 

Date Written: January  2024

“Bakit ako mag-pa-pa-mentor sa’yo? Successful ka na ba?” an old friend once told me this.

For context, I asked this friend if we can have a one-on-one goal setting for this year.

Then I jokingly said to this friend, “I-me-mentor kita about goal setting, walang bayad ‘to ha.”

Maybe I shouldn’t say the word “MENTOR” because this meant something different to this friend.

Wala lang, gusto ko lang sana magkaroon ng “Accountability Buddy” so we can stick to our goals for this year and put actions into it.

Gusto ko lang din sana mag-share sa kanya ng mga thoughts and life lessons I’ve learned from several self-help books I’ve read.

Wrong choice of words.

 

According to a post he read, we should seek advises from people who are more successful than us and surround ourselves with people who we wanted to be. We must also go into circles of these people who has the same status or level in life that we dreamed to be in.

Tama naman ‘yon. So, we can learn something important from these people who we look up to.

 

But what about our childhood or old friends who were there for us when we had nothing or when we’re at the lowest part of our life?

Can’t we have sensible topics with them about ideas or future plans?

Should we dispose them because we can no longer use them?

Ano sila, mga gamit na pwede nang i-declutter?

Hindi na ba natin sila kakaibiganin o hind na tayo makikinig sa kanila kasi mas mataas na tayo sa kanila?

Nakaangat lang tayo ng kaunti, ang hanap na natin ay ang mga taong mas angat sa atin para mas umangat pa tayo lalo?

Hindi ba parang crab mentality na rin ‘yon? Ang pinagkaiba nga lang, when you’re already done with people who was once higher than you, you will leave them behind until you’re the one who’s already on top.

Or should I say, “user-friendly”, “advantage-taker”?

Parang hermit crabs.

Hermit-crab mentality is like finding bigger shells because you no longer fit from your previous houses.

But those ‘smaller’ houses gave you comfort, safety and protection at one point of your life.

Yes, you outgrew them and moved on from it.

But you once learned from them.

 

For me, it doesn’t seem right to think low of other people and disregard their intention of helping you by giving you advises to succeed in life even though themselves, they are ‘not there’ yet.

You can still listen to them and don’t be rude. And it’s still up to you if you will take their advises or not.

One way of learning and retaining what you’ve learned is you share it with other people.

Hindi ba pwedeng magpalitan kayo ng ideas and you both learn from it?

You both started from scratch then why don’t you both go on top?

 

Isa pa, iba-iba naman tayo ng definition ng success.

Maybe the other end just wanted to share with you what she/he thinks success is.

After all, success is contentment for others.

We continue to grow, to plan, to learn and to step up as long as we live.

But may we appreciate and be grateful of the things that we already have – like true friends who are always there for us even if they don’t have anything to offer but just their presence, ideas, perspectives and pure friendship.

 

Minsan, malungkot sa itaas. Mag-isa ka lang doon.

Lucky for you if you will find true friends up there who’ll be there for you in times of trouble or worse when you’re back to level 0.

 

Also, for me, the most valuable thing we can leave in this world is connection and relationship. We will always be remembered on how we treat others rather than how many levels we went up in life.

 

‘Yon lang naman.

#TrashBin

#DiwaThoughts

#ToWanderAndWonder