Dear Almost,
It took me some time and courage to finally share our “Almost” story
to the world.
More than three years ago, I met you through the online world.
You chatted, “Hi!”
And out of courtesy, I said, “Hello.”
Just like any other, that’s how our talks started.
Through our long and sensible text conversations, we got along well.
It felt so nice exchanging personal stories and facts with you and by
the time I first heard your voice, my heart really (no joke) skipped a
beat.
After a month of talking to you over the phone, video phone and chats,
we finally decided to meet.
It was June 12.
We met in Manila.
I don’t know what to feel nor what to expect. It was my first time to
meet a stranger. It was awkward, yes. But you held my hand and let me
feel that everything will be just fine.
And that holiday for the Philippine Independence Day really turned out well!
Together we explored a famous museum and ate on a fancy restaurant.
The day ended I felt comfortable around you and I strongly believed
that this would not be the last that I will be going out with you.
You are an intellectual person and I think that’s what I like about
you the most. You were a great conversationalist as well.
We perfectly match actually, our horoscopes, our personalities, our
interests and even our inner introvert selves really fit in.
We then had another series of dates.
And we really had a lot of fun!
But here’s the catch of our story.
I just came from a major heartbreak recently – a month before we met.
And you also had yours few months before we started talking to each other.
We told each other that we already moved on from our exes.
But I guess I was lying to you and even to myself.
The moment you told me you already have feelings for me, I felt nothing.
Yet, I was grateful.
I was genuinely happy when I’m with you. I felt secured. I found a new
best friend and confidant in you. I can tell you anything and
everything. We can talk for hours regardless if we would both have
sleepless nights.
I love it when you sing for me while you play the guitar over the
phone. I even kept all your recorded singing voices.
I wrote a poem and you turned it into a song. We made it together. My
heart was full.
I forgot that I was hurting.
You also became vocal of what you feel for me. For how many times,
I’ve heard you said you love me.
And I’m sorry if I couldn’t return back those words to you yet.
You also said that you understand me and you have been already to what
I was going through.
Since you had your heartbreak months ahead of mine, you could say that
you have really moved on way better than me.
Then you said you would wait until I finally learned to forgive
myself, love myself and be free from pain.
But I guess you were also telling that to yourself.
I became busy finding myself.
I tried new hobbies, met new people, joined different organizations,
volunteered and went to places I have never been yet.
We were still talking but not that much anymore.
We would always plan to go out again but it was always postponed due
to our different reasons.
I was confident enough that you were just there, patiently waiting for
me until I finally find my way back home and that was to you.
You gave me assurance for that and I guess I really trusted your words.
A year had swiftly passed.
We both became busier. I, with my new found passion.
And you, with your studies and internship.
Despite our mutual absences, my feelings for you grew.
I missed you.
I missed talking to you overnight.
I missed being with you.
I wanted to see you again and be with you again.
It felt that a part of me was really missing.
Up to now, I still think that there was a point in my life that I
realize how I really felt for you.
I think I was ready to finally say those three magic words to you.
One fine night just before I was about to sleep and since I missed
you, I visited your Facebook profile.
And to my surprise, there you are, tagged in a photo. You were happily
smiling…with someone, a girl whose holding your hands so tight.
You were in that familiar restaurant – that same restaurant you brought me with.
And the caption said, “Happy Monthsarry!”
I think you forgot that I had two Facebook accounts and on my other
account, you forgot to hide that post.
What the fudge?!
I also checked your Instagram account which was on a public setting
before so I could see your posts. Though I didn’t follow you on
Instagram, the photos you posted there revealed the confirmation I
needed.
Congrats, you have fooled me!
I immediately blocked you on all our social media accounts that
connected us. I also deleted all your contacts on my phone.
I was really mad back then.
I ended up crying with my friends feeling so devastated. I felt
cheated once again.
How could you hide it from me? You could have told me that you already
stopped waiting for me and you finally found the one for you.
I was fooled once again.
The one whom I thought would never do it since I have shared with him
all my miseries about my ex… Why?
Why did you do that?
Was it really my fault?
Was it because of me that you stopped loving me?
Have I been too busy finding myself that I wasn’t aware of what you feel?
I’m sorry then.
I thought I can finally start my new journey with you but I guess I was wrong.
You already started yours with someone new and that’s not me.
After a couple of week since I have blocked you, you texted me.
Even though, your number was already deleted, I know it was you just
by the way you called my name.
You said, “Sorry”.
And I replied, “Okay.”
Our conversation ended there.
Our Almost Love Story started from, “Hi!” and ended with, “Okay.”
It took me some time and courage to finally share our “Almost” story
to the world.
More than three years ago, I met you through the online world.
You chatted, “Hi!”
And out of courtesy, I said, “Hello.”
Just like any other, that’s how our talks started.
Through our long and sensible text conversations, we got along well.
It felt so nice exchanging personal stories and facts with you and by
the time I first heard your voice, my heart really (no joke) skipped a
beat.
After a month of talking to you over the phone, video phone and chats,
we finally decided to meet.
It was June 12.
We met in Manila.
I don’t know what to feel nor what to expect. It was my first time to
meet a stranger. It was awkward, yes. But you held my hand and let me
feel that everything will be just fine.
And that holiday for the Philippine Independence Day really turned out well!
Together we explored a famous museum and ate on a fancy restaurant.
The day ended I felt comfortable around you and I strongly believed
that this would not be the last that I will be going out with you.
You are an intellectual person and I think that’s what I like about
you the most. You were a great conversationalist as well.
We perfectly match actually, our horoscopes, our personalities, our
interests and even our inner introvert selves really fit in.
We then had another series of dates.
And we really had a lot of fun!
But here’s the catch of our story.
I just came from a major heartbreak recently – a month before we met.
And you also had yours few months before we started talking to each other.
We told each other that we already moved on from our exes.
But I guess I was lying to you and even to myself.
The moment you told me you already have feelings for me, I felt nothing.
Yet, I was grateful.
I was genuinely happy when I’m with you. I felt secured. I found a new
best friend and confidant in you. I can tell you anything and
everything. We can talk for hours regardless if we would both have
sleepless nights.
I love it when you sing for me while you play the guitar over the
phone. I even kept all your recorded singing voices.
I wrote a poem and you turned it into a song. We made it together. My
heart was full.
I forgot that I was hurting.
You also became vocal of what you feel for me. For how many times,
I’ve heard you said you love me.
And I’m sorry if I couldn’t return back those words to you yet.
You also said that you understand me and you have been already to what
I was going through.
Since you had your heartbreak months ahead of mine, you could say that
you have really moved on way better than me.
Then you said you would wait until I finally learned to forgive
myself, love myself and be free from pain.
But I guess you were also telling that to yourself.
I became busy finding myself.
I tried new hobbies, met new people, joined different organizations,
volunteered and went to places I have never been yet.
We were still talking but not that much anymore.
We would always plan to go out again but it was always postponed due
to our different reasons.
I was confident enough that you were just there, patiently waiting for
me until I finally find my way back home and that was to you.
You gave me assurance for that and I guess I really trusted your words.
A year had swiftly passed.
We both became busier. I, with my new found passion.
And you, with your studies and internship.
Despite our mutual absences, my feelings for you grew.
I missed you.
I missed talking to you overnight.
I missed being with you.
I wanted to see you again and be with you again.
It felt that a part of me was really missing.
Up to now, I still think that there was a point in my life that I
realize how I really felt for you.
I think I was ready to finally say those three magic words to you.
One fine night just before I was about to sleep and since I missed
you, I visited your Facebook profile.
And to my surprise, there you are, tagged in a photo. You were happily
smiling…with someone, a girl whose holding your hands so tight.
You were in that familiar restaurant – that same restaurant you brought me with.
And the caption said, “Happy Monthsarry!”
I think you forgot that I had two Facebook accounts and on my other
account, you forgot to hide that post.
What the fudge?!
I also checked your Instagram account which was on a public setting
before so I could see your posts. Though I didn’t follow you on
Instagram, the photos you posted there revealed the confirmation I
needed.
Congrats, you have fooled me!
I immediately blocked you on all our social media accounts that
connected us. I also deleted all your contacts on my phone.
I was really mad back then.
I ended up crying with my friends feeling so devastated. I felt
cheated once again.
How could you hide it from me? You could have told me that you already
stopped waiting for me and you finally found the one for you.
I was fooled once again.
The one whom I thought would never do it since I have shared with him
all my miseries about my ex… Why?
Why did you do that?
Was it really my fault?
Was it because of me that you stopped loving me?
Have I been too busy finding myself that I wasn’t aware of what you feel?
I’m sorry then.
I thought I can finally start my new journey with you but I guess I was wrong.
You already started yours with someone new and that’s not me.
After a couple of week since I have blocked you, you texted me.
Even though, your number was already deleted, I know it was you just
by the way you called my name.
You said, “Sorry”.
And I replied, “Okay.”
Our conversation ended there.
Our Almost Love Story started from, “Hi!” and ended with, “Okay.”
Dear Almost, it has been four years.
And I’m not mad anymore.
Maybe it was just a blessing in disguise that led us into separate
paths. We are not meant for each other and it’s alright.
Thank you for the happy memories though.
Thank you for healing with me.
Thank you for the song.
Thank you for being you.
Thank you for letting me feel that I am still worth loving.
I am genuinely happy for you right now.
I also already found my ‘Home’ now and I guess it is not really you.
I wish you the best. I miss you.
I hope we can be friends again but if it's already impossible, it's fine.
Our
happiness is all that matters.
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