All caps para intense.
Ang ewan lang ng title ng blog post na ito. Hahaha! Isisi natin sa isang university confession na nabasa ko. Haha.
But then, applying to myself the question itself, maniniwala na nga ba ako ulit?
As some of you may know, I came from a very bad heartbreak (teka, may good heartbreak ba? hahaha. lol. nababaliw na ba ako?). And being in a relationship that I thought would last forever, I then believed before in fairy tales and happily ever after. I believed in destiny, marriage, loyalty, faithfulness, full time and unconditional love.
I stopped believing in those things when I died because of someone who stopped loving me. And that someone was unfortunately became my world for a long time. Yes, at the age of 25 I died and was never buried yet.
All my "illusions and dreams of forever" shattered. But then of course, our life must go on.
After few weeks of being a "living dead" (wow, zombie lang ang peg.), I stood up and started to live my so called life again.
Sabi nga ng iba, I became a bitter person na puro hugot ang banat. Hahaha. Part ng pag-mo-moving on yon, huwag kayong ano diyan!
Naging food supplement ko pa nga raw ang ampalaya. Mga judgemental! Hehe.
Being dependent to God and to my families and friends and even to myself, I've learn to forgive and to let go of those things that hurt me the most. Just like the earthquake that can cause shattering, being in pain is unpredictable. But then I believe that staying in whatever kind of pain is a matter of choice. If we want to be on relief then we must move forward and stay away from the things that can cause wound to us.
Dito na pumapasok sa eksena si moving on stage.
Moving on? Aherm. And I can proudly say that I did it in just 30 days! Oh yes its true, tanong mo pa sa akin!
Hindi ako magpapaka-ipokrita at sasabihin ko sa'yo na madali lang. Dahil sa totoo lang, mahirap! Napakahirap. Beyond words ang pain, sufferings, repitition of heartaches, agony and misery. Dugo't pawis ang puhunan 'te! One of my blog post will tell you all the things that I've done in that crucial and life changing days of my life. I will post it soon.
Okay so back to our topic which is believing again on the things that I previously stopped to. Maniniwala na naman nga ba ako ulit o hindi na?
Kasi literally speaking, wala naman talagang forever eh. Lahat ng tao namamatay. Lahat ng bagay ay may katapusan at lahat ay nagbabago kasama na rito ang feelings nating mga tao. Maaaring ngayon mahal mo pa siya pero bukas paggising mo hindi na pala at may iba na. (Shet, humuhugot na naman.)
So it means na wala talagang forever!
Warning: Bitter mode on
Hahaha.
There are things that I consider while creating this post.
1. I then thought of my mom.
Papa passed away seven years ago and yet she chose to remain single. Kasi naniniwala siya na si Papa ang forever niya at hindi niya ito maipagpapalit kahit kanino. Papa will always be in her heart and in her life. She will always love him until the end of time. Ang sweet ng nanay ko 'di ba? Masaya na siya na si younger brother ko nalang ang lalaki sa buhay niya.
2. One of my co-writers and at the same time best friend then said, "Igat, hindi ka na naniniwala sa forever? Anong tingin mo sa lola't lolo mo? Mag- M.U. lang? (Mutual Understanding)"
Sounds funny but its a reality. There are a lot of couples who stand together for a long time and grow old together. And that long time is full of problems, sacrifices, pain, forgiveness, joy and love that they have been through.
3. I also knew a person who strongly believes in this. He then later on and currently became a special part of my life. (Hehehe) "May forever Cie. Tayo ang gagawa ng forever natin." He always used to tell me. Especially kapag binabanatan ko siya ng makapagdamdamin kong punchline na, "Walang forever!"
4. I then realized that forever may still exist. Maybe in the life of some. Para kasi sa atin, kapag natagpuan na ang tunay nating pag-ibig, he or she will be your forever na. We will strongly believe in that thought because we will hold on to those people who hold our heart. In short, kapag ang isang tao ay nakabawi na mula sa lahat ng heartaches na napagdaanan niya and then nakatagpo na siyang muli ng isang tao na mamahalin, the word "forever" will exist again in his or her life. Haha. #RealityCheck
So sapat na nga bang batayan ang mga bagay na ito para muli akong maniwala?
Sa tingin mo? Siguro oo. Haha.
So does that mean na nagmamahal na uli ako? Hahaha.
Nakakabaliw ang pag-ibig.
At Nababaliw na ako. Hahaha.
So it means pumapag-ibig na uli ako?
Shet.
#walangkwentangblogpost
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