Finding Emhara (Day 5/30 #NaNoWriMo Challenge 2023)

Finding Emhara: Unsent Letters For My Love

Chapter 5 – Unsent Letter #5 

Writer’s Note:

It’s been several years…

I was demotivated to write and to finally complete a novel because of some not so good experiences from the past. Plus the fact that I got busy with my life and its ever changing phases.

Writing a novel or novella became a less priority.

But this year, I wanted to give it a try once again and so I took the challenge of NaNoWriMo. In this writing challenge, every day, I will write more than 300 words that will build this story and by the end of the month, hopefully I will be able to complete this Novella.

Thank you to 8letters and 8circles community for this opportunity to showcase my story and to challenge myself again.

It was actually hard to get ourselves up every day to write especially if there’s no one pushing you.

And so, here I am pushing myself alone because if nobody believes in you, you must believe in yourself.

Discipline > Motivation

Discipline = Actions = Goals reached

We may not be feeling motivated or inspired everyday but our discipline can take us somewhere better.

I don’t know where this story will take us but we’ll take it slow, one step at a time. Process is here to go through it.

Malayo pa pero malayo na.

Sa totoo lang on this Day 5/30 of NaNoWriMo challenge, I still don’t know how this story will turn out. I already have the ending in mind but the journey of Emhara, Aleia, her dad, and Saljie is still vague.

Please join me as we all uncover their story.

Just like Aleia, I am still at lost now but I believe that eventually, we will find ourselves at the right time on its perfect moment.

Tuloy lang, laban lang.

Para sa passion. Para sa goal. <3

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 (A Letter for Papa)

Date Written: December 18, 1995

 

This is for you, Papa.

Why did you leave?

I thought we were going to Batangas today because it was your birthday yesterday at hindi tayo nakapag-celebrate kasi late ka na umuwi,

Tapos kaninang umaga paggising ko, wala na ang mga gamit mo sa kuwarto niyo ni Mama.

I asked Mama what happened but she just said that you were already gone. At masaya ka na daw sa pupuntahan mo.

 

I don’t understand what’s happening, Papa.

May iba ka na daw na pamilya.

I asked Mama, Why?

But she cannot say another word.

 

I don’t know who to blame, Papa.

I’m not aware that this was already happening to our family.

Bakit ka naghanap ng ibang pamilya?

Hindi ka na ba masaya sa amin ni Mama?

May nagawa ba akong mali?

Si Mama ba ang may kasalanan?

Ano’ng meron sa bago mong pamilya na wala sa amin ni Mama?

I thought we were a perfect family.

Akala ko lang pala ‘yon.

Papa! I want to talk to you.

Baka we can still fix this?

Ayokong maniwala kay Mama.

Baka binibiro niyo lang ako.

If this is really true, can we still talk?

Can you still be my father?

Can I still be your daughter?

Bakit hindi mo ako kinausap?

You are my superman.

I always look forward to see you at the end of each day. Magki-kwentuhan tayo saglit at mag-aasaran before I go to sleep.

When I was a kid, I used to be afraid of ghosts and monsters under my bed but you are my guardian. You’ll just say, ‘Kayong mga monsters, stay away from my daughter or I’ll kill you all!’ And I would be just fine.

You were my Prince Charming Papa. I do not worry whenever and wherever you’re with me.

With all the sand castles we built, I am your princess and you are my king.

Wala na ba tayong beach day ever?

 

I don’t want to hate you, Papa.

I don’t know how to live without you now. Magpapa-pasko na next week. Akala ko pupunta tayo kina Lolo. Hindi na ba mangyayari ‘yon?

Wala na ba talaga akong kumpletong pamilya?

Is this really happening to us?

Pa, please talk to me.

I am so confused right now.

My heart is broken.

And I didn’t imagine that you, my first love, will be the first one to break it.

 

Em-em.

 

(end of unsent letter # 5)

 

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“SHET, ang bigat na naman nito!” Nagpapahid na naman ng mga luha si Aleia pagkababa niya ng sulat. Ramdam niya ang hinanakit ni Emhara sa sulat na ito. Mahal nito ang ama kaya ganon na lamang kasakit para dito ang pinagdadaanan nito.

Binasa pa niya iyon ng malakas kaya naman mas damang-dama niya ang lahat ng emosyon na nakapaloob sa sulat.

 

Inabutan siya ni Saljie ng tissue. “Do you have any idea kung sino si Emhara pati kung sino ang parents niya?”

 

Umiling-iling lang si Aleia habang sumisinga sa tissue na inabot ng lalaki sa kanya.

 

“So, where will we start in finding them?”

 

“No idea as well.” Naluha na naman siya.

 

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