Finding Emhara (Day 4/30 of #NaNoWriMo Challenge 2023)

 

#𝗡𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗼𝗯𝘆8𝗟𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 #𝗡𝗮𝗻𝗼8𝗟 #𝗡𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲8𝗟

Finding Emhara: Unsent Letters For My Love

Chapter 4 – Unsent Letter #4 

(A letter for Mama)

Date: November 20, 2020

 

Para sa pinakamamahal kong Mama,

Happiest 60^th birthday, Ma!

You deserve all the best in the world.

Thank you for being my strongest pillar and for making me understand why all our life’s challenges happened. You also helped me cope up, move on, and to be strong just like you.

Lagi tayong aso’t pusa but at the end of the day, kakampi pa rin natin ang isa’t isa.

I’m sorry if I became busy growing up hating you.

My teenage years were full of hatred because of the things I could not understand and accept just the way it was.

But now that I’m more matured, I appreciated all your sacrifices for our family.

Sorry, Mama if I was a hard-headed daughter when I was thirteen until I was twenty.

Thank you for not giving up on me. At sana ay napatawad mo na ako talaga sa lahat ng naging kasalanan ko.

Pinagsisisihan ko lahat ng nagawa ko sa’yo noon, Ma. I was just an unreasonable teenager who thought her life was perfect not until you ruined it.

Thank you for understanding me because of what I was going through as well.

Yes, it was a hard life but it was just a phase.

As you would always say to me, nothing is permanent in this world. Happy moments are not forever so we have to cherish it while it last. And then not so good moments will not stay in our life for too long so we will move forward as better days are coming.

Thank you also for being my first ever teacher. You’ve taught me a lot and I am forever grateful to that. Those lessons I’ve learned from you from alphabets to numbers to reading and writing my name, the best things were about real talks and about life. As promised, I will pass on those wonderful lessons to my future kids – to your grand kids! I will give you a lot! He-he-he!

 

I’m sorry if I can only be as talkative as this through letters.

It’s the aftermath of our silent war before wherein I stopped telling all my thoughts and feelings to you. I stopped sharing my stories with you as you would always shut me down. Whenever I asked you what’s wrong, “Everything’s fine.” That’s what you would always say and I didn’t believe in you for once.

Sinubok tayo ng panahon, Ma.

But even though an invisible wall has grown between us, my love and respect for you never fade.

Ikaw pa rin ang mama ko, ang kakampi ko, ang sandigan ko.

I still call to you for help if I needed to.

I still ask for things like bed sheets, China wares, undies, pajamas, curtains and a lot from you. My own house has a lot of gifts that came from you.

And I will forever be grateful to God for having you as my mom in this lifetime. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world.

If we will live again or in a parallel world, I will ask to be your daughter over and over again.

 

Happiest senior year, Mama!

Enjoy your discounts!

I wish nothing but happiness and always good health for you.

Diyan ka lang palagi para sa akin at para sa mga magiging apo mo.

I couldn’t imagine life without you, Ma.

You are my light here on earth especially during my darkest days.

 

 I will see you later to celebrate your birthday with Uncle Luke.

I love you, Mama!

I know you wouldn’t be able to read this (because I won’t allow it to happen) but I know that you know how I super love you. I hope that through my actions, I can already show how I appreciate and how I truly care for you.

I may not be as vocal as before when I was a kid, but whenever you need me, I’m just here.

Magkapitbahay lang kaya tayo!

You are one of my greatest blessings in life, Mama.  

Sana ramdam mo kung gaano kita kamahal.

I love you so much and happy birthday ulit.

 

From your only daughter/ princess,

Em-em.

 

(end of letter)