Me as a Brokenhearted Girl Who Rose up and Live Again
Cielo bares it all.
How does it feel when the one you love the most betrayed you? Yung tipong akala mo may forever kayo. Na siya na ang The One for you. Na siya ang hiniling mo sa Maykapal. Akala mo mamahalin ka niya hanggang sa wakas, yun pala ay agad rin iyong magwawakas.
When you thought that he will love you no matter what happens kasi nga ang dami niyo nang napagdaanan eh at nalampasan ninyong lahat iyon. But then due to some shallow and stupid reasons lang pala ay magagawa ka niyang iwanan and the worst ay ipagpapalit sa iba. Oo, agad-agad! In just a span of two months may kapalit ka na, na na-fall na daw siya sa iba habang ikaw, you thought that everything is okay, that you’re relationship is going smoothly, na kampante ka na mahal na mahal ka niya at hindi nagbabago iyon.
But then you were all wrong. Just like the old saying goes, the only constant in this world is change. And his love for you is not an exemption.
You’ve been through a lot together for a long time and you were so comfortable enough and make believe of yourself that he will never ever leave you. Minahal mo siya ng buong puso na halos wala ka ng itira para sa sarili mo. Na lahat na binigay at isinakripisyo mo, yun pala kulang pa. And at the end of the day you will be questioning yourself, “Saan ako nagkulang? Saan ako nagkamali?”
You were madly in love with him since day one that you said yes to him then one day he will just text you saying, “Nahulog na ako sa iba. Sorry.”
Ang sarap magmura ‘di ba?
In just a glimpse of an eye, your heart will be shattered into many many pieces. Sisikip ng sobra ang dibdib mo to the point na halos hindi ka na makahinga and all you could do was just to cry all your heart out. The pain is just too indescribable na tila ba gugustuhin mo nalang mamatay na ngayon din. You will search for a blade to cut your pulse, you will find a poison to stop your heart from beating and you will torture your neck so that totally you will not be able to breath and finally you won’t feel anything that hurts anymore. Ang sakit sakit!
Yung taong pinagkatiwalaan mo ng buong puso, binigyan mo ng sobrang pagmamahal, oras at effort ay magagawa kang iwanan ng ganun ganun na lang.
Then you will try to chase him, fix everything between the two of you, maglulumuhod sa harap niya, magmamakaawa na huwag kang iwan, na ikaw nalang ulit ang mahalin niya, na gagawin mo ang lahat just to win him back, magbubulag bulagan at magtatanga tangahan. Iiyak ng sobra pero wala eh. He just can’t accept you anymore.
Have you experienced all of this?
Well ako, oo.
I’ve been through a relationship that lasted for seven years. And our first trial, ayaw sa kanya ng pamilya ko. Pero dahil sa mahal ko siya, ipinaglaban ko. We had our promise, “Walang Iwanan” and we stood for that. Pero totoo talagang nagbabago ang tao. His loyalty had an expiration date for a total of seven years. Sinakto pa talaga niyang Friday the 13th. The Date is March 13, 2015 when he finally decided to end our relationship.
All our future plans were shattered. Sa isang iglap, nawala lahat iyon. Dream wedding, wedding date, dream house, number of kids, dream business, imagining days when you were already both old. Wala na. Lahat ng iyon ay mananatili na lamang panaginip at pangarap at kahit kailan ay hindi na maisasakatuparan pa.
What is the main reason for this break up? Nahulog na raw siya sa iba. Sa mas mabait daw sa akin, sa mas masaya siyang kausap o ka-text. Hindi raw niya naiwasan ang ikumpara ako doon and when we had this petty fight or misunderstanding, he led that as the final way to say goodbye.
For a span of two months, he fell out of love for me. Actually, nararamdaman ko iyon. Wala na iyong sweetness niya, yung effort, yung time just to be with me, ramdam ko iyon. Ako nalang palagi yung gumagawa ng paraan para magkita o magkasama kami but I remained blind, martyr and dumb. Kasi nga mahal ko siya. For that simple reason alone, I held on. And when we have fights, okay lang sa kanya na hindi kami magkaayos agad. Hindi na tulad ng dati na gusto niya magkaayos agad kami at siya yung unang gumagawa ng move para maging okay kami ulit.
Nagbago na nga talaga siya.
Yes, I chased him after he said his goodbye pero ipinagtabuyan niya lang ako.
Wala na akong ibang magawa kundi ang umiyak ng umiyak nalang and every time na maiisip ko siya, my heart is aching so much. I can’t eat, I even can’t sleep. That lasted for three days.
After three days, I was able to eat pero pakonti-konti pa rin. I was able to sleep pero abnormal pa rin. And I still kept on crying. Kasehodang nasa gitna ako ng mall o park, naiiyak ako.
My boss even found me underneath my working table, crying.
But then, this break up turned into a blessing in disguise.
Why?
I became closer to God.
Walking distance lang ang isang church from office. Dati, every Thursday lang ako nagsisimba but when I was broken, inaraw-araw ko na ang pagdalaw sa tahanan ng Diyos. And there I silently wept, begging for a fast recovery of my heart, wishing that the pain will vanish soon. And also my feelings for that undeserving man will be gone the soonest.
I am very much thankful today because I have finally coped up. Upon talking to Him everyday, the pain lessen each day and I already stopped crying. I found joy deep inside my heart and He make me realized so many things that I should be thanked for because I have those.
What are they? Rather, who are they?
My family that through good and bad times; will always be there for me. My friends who never get tired listening to all my rants and dramas and never ceased to give me advices and always making me feel better. My boss and workmates that fully understands what I am going through. My co-writers who made me laugh and just to be happy for even no reasons at all. They are all blessings to me. I once took them for granted when I was deeply in love thinking that me and my stupid asshole ex alone, we can live happily ever after. And of course I know now that I was such a fool believing in that thought.
I fell down, I wept, but of course I stood up tall and got ready to face my life again.
It was just another page of my life’s book has ended and I am just one step closer to the right man for me.
I thought that it will be hard for me to move on. Pero kaya ko pala in just ONE MONTH! Yes, one month lang and it is so possible if you will just have the will; the will to accept, to let go, to forgive, to forget, to realize many positive things and to be happy again. And of course finally, the will to love again.
In a span of three weeks, I stopped crying about him. Mga koreanobela nalang ang nakakapagpaiyak sa akin recently.
After a month, I was able to laugh out loud again and I strongly believe that I am now much stronger, wiser, fiercer, and bolder and be backed on track. Nakaka-miss kayang maging matakaw at matulog ng 12 hours! Nakakamiss na ring magsulat ulit ng mga nobela. Nawala kasi ang drive ko sa pagsusulat when I was brokenhearted.
So kung ikaw ay katulad ko na nabigo sa pag-ibig, since nakaya ko, for sure makakaya mo rin yan! We are strong, caring, beautiful and smart and we are lovable. Let’s love again bringing the lessons that we learned the hard way.
This is the link to my not-so-daily rants while I am on the process of moving on. *Click Here*
Then this is the other link for How to Have Happiness Everyday, the Cielo’s Way. *Click Here*
Sobrang nakatulong sa akin ang pagsusulat (Thanks to my writing skills) while mending my broken heart. Just for your info, I was writing Rant Day 1-5 (I guess) while crying but at the end or few last days of the rant, I was already smiling and already found my inner happiness or so called Joy.
Sana makatulong rin sa’yo kung pareho man tayo ng pinagdaanan o pinagdaraanan.
If you have questions or comments, please feel free to let me know.
Or if you have your own story or process of moving on, share naman diyan!
Lab,
Cielo
Cielo bares it all.
How does it feel when the one you love the most betrayed you? Yung tipong akala mo may forever kayo. Na siya na ang The One for you. Na siya ang hiniling mo sa Maykapal. Akala mo mamahalin ka niya hanggang sa wakas, yun pala ay agad rin iyong magwawakas.
When you thought that he will love you no matter what happens kasi nga ang dami niyo nang napagdaanan eh at nalampasan ninyong lahat iyon. But then due to some shallow and stupid reasons lang pala ay magagawa ka niyang iwanan and the worst ay ipagpapalit sa iba. Oo, agad-agad! In just a span of two months may kapalit ka na, na na-fall na daw siya sa iba habang ikaw, you thought that everything is okay, that you’re relationship is going smoothly, na kampante ka na mahal na mahal ka niya at hindi nagbabago iyon.
But then you were all wrong. Just like the old saying goes, the only constant in this world is change. And his love for you is not an exemption.
You’ve been through a lot together for a long time and you were so comfortable enough and make believe of yourself that he will never ever leave you. Minahal mo siya ng buong puso na halos wala ka ng itira para sa sarili mo. Na lahat na binigay at isinakripisyo mo, yun pala kulang pa. And at the end of the day you will be questioning yourself, “Saan ako nagkulang? Saan ako nagkamali?”
You were madly in love with him since day one that you said yes to him then one day he will just text you saying, “Nahulog na ako sa iba. Sorry.”
Ang sarap magmura ‘di ba?
In just a glimpse of an eye, your heart will be shattered into many many pieces. Sisikip ng sobra ang dibdib mo to the point na halos hindi ka na makahinga and all you could do was just to cry all your heart out. The pain is just too indescribable na tila ba gugustuhin mo nalang mamatay na ngayon din. You will search for a blade to cut your pulse, you will find a poison to stop your heart from beating and you will torture your neck so that totally you will not be able to breath and finally you won’t feel anything that hurts anymore. Ang sakit sakit!
Yung taong pinagkatiwalaan mo ng buong puso, binigyan mo ng sobrang pagmamahal, oras at effort ay magagawa kang iwanan ng ganun ganun na lang.
Then you will try to chase him, fix everything between the two of you, maglulumuhod sa harap niya, magmamakaawa na huwag kang iwan, na ikaw nalang ulit ang mahalin niya, na gagawin mo ang lahat just to win him back, magbubulag bulagan at magtatanga tangahan. Iiyak ng sobra pero wala eh. He just can’t accept you anymore.
Have you experienced all of this?
Well ako, oo.
I’ve been through a relationship that lasted for seven years. And our first trial, ayaw sa kanya ng pamilya ko. Pero dahil sa mahal ko siya, ipinaglaban ko. We had our promise, “Walang Iwanan” and we stood for that. Pero totoo talagang nagbabago ang tao. His loyalty had an expiration date for a total of seven years. Sinakto pa talaga niyang Friday the 13th. The Date is March 13, 2015 when he finally decided to end our relationship.
All our future plans were shattered. Sa isang iglap, nawala lahat iyon. Dream wedding, wedding date, dream house, number of kids, dream business, imagining days when you were already both old. Wala na. Lahat ng iyon ay mananatili na lamang panaginip at pangarap at kahit kailan ay hindi na maisasakatuparan pa.
What is the main reason for this break up? Nahulog na raw siya sa iba. Sa mas mabait daw sa akin, sa mas masaya siyang kausap o ka-text. Hindi raw niya naiwasan ang ikumpara ako doon and when we had this petty fight or misunderstanding, he led that as the final way to say goodbye.
For a span of two months, he fell out of love for me. Actually, nararamdaman ko iyon. Wala na iyong sweetness niya, yung effort, yung time just to be with me, ramdam ko iyon. Ako nalang palagi yung gumagawa ng paraan para magkita o magkasama kami but I remained blind, martyr and dumb. Kasi nga mahal ko siya. For that simple reason alone, I held on. And when we have fights, okay lang sa kanya na hindi kami magkaayos agad. Hindi na tulad ng dati na gusto niya magkaayos agad kami at siya yung unang gumagawa ng move para maging okay kami ulit.
Nagbago na nga talaga siya.
Yes, I chased him after he said his goodbye pero ipinagtabuyan niya lang ako.
Wala na akong ibang magawa kundi ang umiyak ng umiyak nalang and every time na maiisip ko siya, my heart is aching so much. I can’t eat, I even can’t sleep. That lasted for three days.
After three days, I was able to eat pero pakonti-konti pa rin. I was able to sleep pero abnormal pa rin. And I still kept on crying. Kasehodang nasa gitna ako ng mall o park, naiiyak ako.
My boss even found me underneath my working table, crying.
But then, this break up turned into a blessing in disguise.
Why?
I became closer to God.
Walking distance lang ang isang church from office. Dati, every Thursday lang ako nagsisimba but when I was broken, inaraw-araw ko na ang pagdalaw sa tahanan ng Diyos. And there I silently wept, begging for a fast recovery of my heart, wishing that the pain will vanish soon. And also my feelings for that undeserving man will be gone the soonest.
I am very much thankful today because I have finally coped up. Upon talking to Him everyday, the pain lessen each day and I already stopped crying. I found joy deep inside my heart and He make me realized so many things that I should be thanked for because I have those.
What are they? Rather, who are they?
My family that through good and bad times; will always be there for me. My friends who never get tired listening to all my rants and dramas and never ceased to give me advices and always making me feel better. My boss and workmates that fully understands what I am going through. My co-writers who made me laugh and just to be happy for even no reasons at all. They are all blessings to me. I once took them for granted when I was deeply in love thinking that me and my stupid asshole ex alone, we can live happily ever after. And of course I know now that I was such a fool believing in that thought.
I fell down, I wept, but of course I stood up tall and got ready to face my life again.
It was just another page of my life’s book has ended and I am just one step closer to the right man for me.
I thought that it will be hard for me to move on. Pero kaya ko pala in just ONE MONTH! Yes, one month lang and it is so possible if you will just have the will; the will to accept, to let go, to forgive, to forget, to realize many positive things and to be happy again. And of course finally, the will to love again.
In a span of three weeks, I stopped crying about him. Mga koreanobela nalang ang nakakapagpaiyak sa akin recently.
After a month, I was able to laugh out loud again and I strongly believe that I am now much stronger, wiser, fiercer, and bolder and be backed on track. Nakaka-miss kayang maging matakaw at matulog ng 12 hours! Nakakamiss na ring magsulat ulit ng mga nobela. Nawala kasi ang drive ko sa pagsusulat when I was brokenhearted.
So kung ikaw ay katulad ko na nabigo sa pag-ibig, since nakaya ko, for sure makakaya mo rin yan! We are strong, caring, beautiful and smart and we are lovable. Let’s love again bringing the lessons that we learned the hard way.
This is the link to my not-so-daily rants while I am on the process of moving on. *Click Here*
Then this is the other link for How to Have Happiness Everyday, the Cielo’s Way. *Click Here*
Sobrang nakatulong sa akin ang pagsusulat (Thanks to my writing skills) while mending my broken heart. Just for your info, I was writing Rant Day 1-5 (I guess) while crying but at the end or few last days of the rant, I was already smiling and already found my inner happiness or so called Joy.
Sana makatulong rin sa’yo kung pareho man tayo ng pinagdaanan o pinagdaraanan.
If you have questions or comments, please feel free to let me know.
Or if you have your own story or process of moving on, share naman diyan!
Lab,
Cielo
No comments:
Post a Comment