#𝗡𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗼𝗯𝘆8𝗟𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 #𝗡𝗮𝗻𝗼8𝗟 #𝗡𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲8𝗟
#FindingEmhara
Chapter 11 – Unsent Letter # 11
PAGKABASA pa lang ni Aleia kung ano’ng klaseng ‘unsent letter’ ang susunod niyang basahin ay kinabahan na siya. Inihahanda na niya ang sarili niya.
It’s a
break up letter for God’s sake!
‘Chill,
Aleia!’ She reminded
herself and had a self-composure. ‘Sulat lang ‘to. Huwag ka masyadong maaapektuhan.’
“Okay,
ready!” Aniya at sinumulan na ngang basahin ang sulat.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
Date: March
15, 2005
For my now-ex,
SEVEN
YEARS.
It’s
been seven years.
Our so
called forever has now ended.
No third
party involved (as I believe).
It was just
us, growing up and falling apart.
My heart
is scattered into pieces right now.
But I
believe and I hope that in God’s perfect timing, this fragile, stupid organ of
mine will find its way back to be whole again.
Akala ko
papunta na tayo sa next phase ng relasyon natin.
Pero
totoo nga ang sabi ni Cha that expecting can really hurt us like hell.
I had a
lot of expectations from you and from our relationship.
Sigurado
na ako sa’yo eh. We already had some plans about our future together.
Ang dami
na nating plano. Ang dami nating promises sa isa’t isa. Our world revolves in
each other.
Ikaw at
ako ay iisa.
You were
my best friend, my confidante, my human diary and my go-to person. I was even
closer to you rather than my own family.
Pero
baka nga hindi talaga tayo ang itinadhana.
Maybe
there are reasons why tonight has happened that I don’t know yet.
I
thought that tonight was just our typical date night but you made it a
remarkable one.
Pag-out
natin sa work, we went to our favorite park. We ate our favorite street food.
Okay tayo eh.
Then out
of the blue, our conversation became serious.
You
suggested that we should go on parted ways for the meantime.
Sabi mo
pa, kung tayo talaga in the future, magiging tayo talaga. But not yet now. At kailangan
muna nating mag-focus sa mga career natin – nang magkahiwalay.
Syempre ay
hindi ako pumayag sa una.
Gago ka
ba?
Seven
years ng buhay ko, buhay natin nang magkasama tapos sa isang iglap, ganon na
lang ‘yon?
Wala na?
But you
insisted at sabi mo pa ay wala naman akong choice because ‘it takes two to
tango’ to make this relationship work.
And that’s
exactly my fucking point!
You and
me! We need to be together to fix whatever is wrong with us or with our relationship.
I begged
(even though this hurt my ego). I negotiated.
But you
firmly said, “No.”
I felt
so much anger.
I walked
out. I left you.
Pinipigilan
ko ang umiyak in a public place.
Naglakad-lakad
ako sa kawalan. Nag-iisip. But I just couldn’t think straight. Everything was a
blur.
And so,
I just decided to go home.
Hindi pa
rin ako umiiyak ngayon.
Sinusubukan
ko pa’ng i-absorb ang lahat ng nangyari ngayong gabi.
Alam ko
namang marami-rami tayong naging away at tampuhan lately but I believed it was
just a part of our relationship.
I never
thought that you would offer break up as a solution for those petty fights we
used to have.
Masyado lang
siguro akong naging kampante sa’yo.
I’m now
starting to question myself.
Ano ba’ng
mali ang nagawa ko?
Saan ako
nagkulang?
Masyado
na ba’ng masama ang ugali ko at hindi mo na ako masikmura?
Pangit na
ba ako sa paningin mo?
May iba
ka na ba’ng nakita o nakilala which is better than me?
I still
believe that there’s no third party involved in here.
But
whatever your core reasons are, okay fine.
Go.
Ilang
beses na akong naiwan sa ere. Hindi pa ba ako nasanay?
Besides,
I can move on from this.
Mabilis
lang ‘to. I promise!
Ngayon
pa lang, I am already declaring that I will be finally moved on from you.
There are
so many fishes in the ocean.
Pero bago
ako humanap ng bagong isda, sarili ko na lang muna ang uunahin ko.
I think
it’s time for me to really focus on myself.
So, yes.
Tinatanggap ko na ang suggestion mo.
Let’s
fucking break up.
Sana
maging masaya ka.
Dahil
ako, kakayanin ko’ng maging masaya kahit wala ka na sa buhay ko.
Oo,
marami akong tanong ngayon sa isip ko pero wala na akong pakialam.
I have a
life ahead of me that I should focus on now.
Goodbye,
Ex.
I wish
to never ever see you again.
Isa ka
lang masamang hangin na dumaan sa buhay ko.
It’s me,
Emhara.
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