Reposted: 4 Tips to Move On

Currently I am trying to write my own steps in Moving On from a very bad heartbreak.
And I think that this list is the closer one that I have been through.

So, I will share it to you and on my next blog post, I will write my own summary of steps that I did.
So Happy reading and credits to the writer of this write-up.








4 Tips to MOVE ON From a Breakup
Credits: Posted on August 1, 2015 by Jonathan Bennett


When relationships end, the pain can be extreme, especially if one partner didn’t want it to end. I’ve watched friends go through breakups and divorces and have seen the extremes from happiness to outright misery (and everything in between).
Studies have shown the horrible effects of breaking up, not just mentally, but physically. Difficulty sleeping, chest pains (even heart attacks), weight gain, and withdrawal feelings on the level of stopping cocaine are all physical symptoms that have been associated with separation from a loved one.
If you were deeply in love and didn’t want a relationship to end, then a breakup can be devastating. However, there are ways to lessen the pain of a relationship ending. Here are four of them.



1. Rely On Your Support Systems

If you have a support system, try to use it as much as possible following a breakup. If you spent a lot of time with your partner, your brain “expects,” through its wiring, that you will do a lot of the same things. But, when your brain doesn’t get what it expects, it creates emotional (and physical) pain. With drugs, this is called withdrawal. Remember, it happens with relationships too.
So, even though you may be depressed and lethargic, try to lean on loved ones in your time of need. Talk to people you care about, spend time with them, and create opportunities to do fun things. For example, if you used to go to the movies with your partner, then try to go to the movies with friends or family.
It’s important that you reach out to those who can help you. Don’t suffer in silence or internalize the pain too much. That can create the most problems. Sometimes friends and family won’t be there for you. If that’s the case, then it’s a good sign you need new friends (see tip 3).


2. Treat Yourself

We all have things that help us in the time of comfort. Maybe it’s a chocolate bar, a shopping trip, or beating the crap out of a punching bag. You know what makes you feel better. So, following a breakup is theperfect time to indulge a little.
While you don’t want to be reckless or stupid (like emptying your bank account in Vegas or passing out drunk on the street), try to load up on things that make you happy if you’re especially depressed after a breakup. So, if you have extra money, go to the spa. Call your friends together for a girls (or guys) night out. Take that trip to the casino you’ve been putting off.
Treat yourself to your favorite things. This won’t solve your heartbreak, but those moments when you’re indulging in your favorite activities will help alleviate the pain, even briefly. This will allow you to create new brain wiring outside of your old memories with your partner and help the overall healing process.


3. Create New Adventures

Likely your previous relationship, in spite of its good points, also had its fair share of ruts and flaws. In order to break your previous brain patterns and get past your ex, you’ll have to create new relationships and new adventures.
A breakup, even a particularly sad one, is a great time to branch out and find new experiences. While a breakup might be sad, it doesn’t have to be viewed as just an end. It’s also a beginning: if you take advantage of it!
The best way to do this is to find a few things that you’ve wanted to do and actually take the step of doing them, even if it’s hard. Get in great shape, go on that vacation overseas, start writing that novel that’s been in your head for awhile.
Fun new activities also have the advantage of connecting you with a new group of friends and even possible dates. So, you’re not only having a good time, but also exposing yourself to a host of new people.
A lot of individuals, following breakups, throw themselves into old routines and experiences. In many cases, these aren’t therapeutically helpful (like overworking) or simply remind them of their ex (like going to the same bars and doing the same activities).
Creating new experiences is one of the most important ways to get over a breakup. And, you’ll find that some of these will become permanent hobbies, making your life more meaningful, helping you meet new people, and, in the case of things like getting in shape, making you more attractive too.


4. Move On


This last one is easier said than done for sure, but it’s the final and most important way to get over a breakup. Ultimately, moving on means creating new brain patterns that don’t involve the other person being an integral part of your life.
You accomplish this by creating new memories, making new friends, and even getting into a new relationship. However, if a relationship is truly dead, the first step is to truly let go of it and move forward. This can be done two primary ways. Both involve putting your partner in the past as a memory, not a worry or obsession in the present.
The first way to move on is to focus on yourself and enjoy being single. If you don’t want a relationship or can’t get into one, this is the best option. Immerse yourself in and do activities you love (and find new ones). Focus on bettering yourself and creating the life you want. This is the main thing you should do to get over a breakup. Become your best self!
The second way to move on is to get into another relationship. You don’t want to do this too quickly, but ultimately, if you want love and companionship with another person, you will need to eventually.
However, realize that getting into another relationship might not cure you of feelings for your old flame. That’s why, even if you plan on getting a new partner, you should also work on bettering yourself and creating the life you want. Sometimes people are too immature to be in a stable, healthy relationship and a breakup is a great time to develop that personal maturity.



The fifth factor that helps you get over a breakup is time.

These four tips, combined with time, should help lessen the pain of a relationship’s end and help you be happy.