A Rant: Will There Be Someone?
Would still there be someone who would accept me wholeheartedly?
This is the question that has been running to my mind since the day that someone so dear chose to leave me.
Yes I've been wrecked, used, and unloved. I know that I dont deserve it but maybe God just deleted some useless person or even a virus in my personal file of life.
Right now this thought has always been brothering me.
What if there would be no one who would love me just much as I can love him?
What if he will just make me fall in love then just like the first one, he will then eventually leave?
Is it really my fault that someone just left me easily?
Is there really a problem with me?
Am I not that lovable?
Don't I deserve loyalty?
Am I meant to be alone forever?
I don't want to be with the wrong guy again. I want to guard my heart. I don't want to lose my dignity again and drop down again my pride just for a stupid person I chose to love.
But we were just human who are hungry for love, for affection, for care from someone who can treat us like a queen. Yes we may feel that we are a damsel in distress who are patiently waiting for some knight in shining armour who would save us from this nightmare of being alone, broken, wasted, abused, and left behind.
I've been asking God last night. "Dear God, would there really be someone who would love me just much as I love you? Will he accept my bitter and dark past? Will he understand what I've been through? Will he protect my heart from being broken again?"
I will be more demanding with my questions this time....
"Dear God, Is that someone would never get tired of my mood swings?
Will he patiently listens to my rants and nags?
Will he accept my undying and sometimes very clingy and cheesy love that I can give to him? And would never get tired of it too.
Would his loyalty will never fade?
Can I fully trust him? And won't he break it?
I don't know if that someone would come in the right time. But Papa God, please help me in guarding my heart. You alone can prove to me that forever does exist. Wether it would turn out to be forever alone or forever in love, it's up to You and I lift up everything to You my dear God. Control my life and You're will be done."
Then I wept.
Negativity shouldn't lead my thoughts but I just can't help it. I am so crazy being worried if the right man will come into my life or another asshole will pass through it. I just don't know.
#senselessrants
Would still there be someone who would accept me wholeheartedly?
This is the question that has been running to my mind since the day that someone so dear chose to leave me.
Yes I've been wrecked, used, and unloved. I know that I dont deserve it but maybe God just deleted some useless person or even a virus in my personal file of life.
Right now this thought has always been brothering me.
What if there would be no one who would love me just much as I can love him?
What if he will just make me fall in love then just like the first one, he will then eventually leave?
Is it really my fault that someone just left me easily?
Is there really a problem with me?
Am I not that lovable?
Don't I deserve loyalty?
Am I meant to be alone forever?
I don't want to be with the wrong guy again. I want to guard my heart. I don't want to lose my dignity again and drop down again my pride just for a stupid person I chose to love.
But we were just human who are hungry for love, for affection, for care from someone who can treat us like a queen. Yes we may feel that we are a damsel in distress who are patiently waiting for some knight in shining armour who would save us from this nightmare of being alone, broken, wasted, abused, and left behind.
I've been asking God last night. "Dear God, would there really be someone who would love me just much as I love you? Will he accept my bitter and dark past? Will he understand what I've been through? Will he protect my heart from being broken again?"
I will be more demanding with my questions this time....
"Dear God, Is that someone would never get tired of my mood swings?
Will he patiently listens to my rants and nags?
Will he accept my undying and sometimes very clingy and cheesy love that I can give to him? And would never get tired of it too.
Would his loyalty will never fade?
Can I fully trust him? And won't he break it?
I don't know if that someone would come in the right time. But Papa God, please help me in guarding my heart. You alone can prove to me that forever does exist. Wether it would turn out to be forever alone or forever in love, it's up to You and I lift up everything to You my dear God. Control my life and You're will be done."
Then I wept.
Negativity shouldn't lead my thoughts but I just can't help it. I am so crazy being worried if the right man will come into my life or another asshole will pass through it. I just don't know.
#senselessrants
cguro perfectionist ka kaya di ka makakita ng true love mo! walang perfect sa mundong ito ate laging may kulang.nasa atin na un kung pano natin dadalhin at tatanggapin un..your to young maybe at kulang ka pa sa karanasan sa buhay...you should explore more para maayos yang pananaw mo sa buhay mo...pag marami ka ng karanasan am sure aayos na at matutuwid na yang buhay mo..take it from me ate,lahat yan naranasan ko.....
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