A Tribute for Papa
(For the celebration of Father’s Day)
Strict, masungit, parang palaging galit, malutong magmura, nakakatakot. That’s how I will describe Papa. And I miss him so much.
It's been seven years since he left us and be with our Lord God. He was not a perfect father but I am beyond grateful for having him as my Papa.
Aaminin ko na lumaki akong hindi close sa kanya. Akala mo kasi lagi siyang galit. At nung bata pa ako, lagi talaga akong nakakatikim ng palo mula sa kanya.
He's been a very strict dad. Siguro dahil na rin sa only child ako until I was nine years old. Then when my younger brother came and I started to grow up, mas laso siyang naging mahigpit siya sa akin. Bawal akong lumabas ng bahay para maglaro, bawal ang hindi gumagawa ng assignment, bawal ang hindi nauubos ang pagkain, basta maraming bawal!
He burned my pocketbooks and crushed my tamagotchi kasi naadik ako sa mga iyon. Buti nalang yung mga writings ko noon like essays, short stories and poems na nababasa niya sa mga scratch papers at likod ng notebooks ko ay hindi niya pinupunit. Maybe because naisip niya na medyo may sense naman ang mga iyon. Haha.
When I started having crushes kasi nga lumalaki na ako, yari na!
Madalas mo nang maririnig sa kanya, "Bakit, may ipapalamon na ba sa'yo yan? Wala pa ngang sariling trabaho yan."
Sabi ko nga, Pa. Highschool students palang kami, malamang wala pa talagang trabaho bukod sa mag-aral.
-____-
When I entered college, he's always checking my class schedule but since I'm like BDO, I find ways to still make gala. haha.
Masarap sa pakiramdam na wala ka sa bahay , na hindi ka nasasakal and whenever I'm with my friends, I feel so alive. Mas nakaka-pag open up ako sa kanila at mas masaya ako.
I even came to think of graduating the soonest para makapag-trabaho na at umalis na ng bahay namin. He was against my initial desicion of taking up a two year course (sabik nga kasi akong maka-graduate kaagad.haha).
In the end, I realized that he was right, mas maganda pa rin ang bachelor's degree so I went for it.
Because of being a working student during that time, mas konti na ang oras ko sa bahay. Hindi ko na siya masiyadong nakikita at nakakausap. Mas iwas sa mga sermon at galit niya. Mas masaya!
When I was in second year college, he started to get sick. Labas pasok na siya ng ospital and I didn't had time para magbantay sa kanya kasi nga nag-aaral ako and at the same time ay nagtatrabaho rin. Usually si mama ang kasama niya.
One of the best things that he did for me, even though may sakit na siya at malaki na ang nagagastos sa hospital, was when he still let me have a debut party.
He was acting strong that time and mingled with my friends and with our relatives. By the way, he has diabetes and kidney malfunction.
Two months after my birthday, he was back in hospital, actually, maraming beses talaga siyang labas pasok ng hospital.
It was three in the morning when my mom called me and crying. Pumunta daw ako ng hospital ngayon na! Because Papa is looking for me and they can feel that this would be his last day here on Earth.
Actually, may work ako ng five a.m. that day but I've decided not to attend my work schedule.
At four in the morning, ay tinatahak ko na ang kahabaan ng EDSA while praying that Papa is still okay.
I reached the hospital before five a.m., I saw Mama with swollen eyes while holding Papa's hand. Marami ng aparato ang nakakabit kay Papa. He can't speak because of a tube in his mouth and Mama said that he can't see anymore even though his eyes were open.
Gusto kong umiyak but I decided not to. I held back my tears and held his hand.
"Pa, nandito na si Cielo." Mama then whispered at Papa's ears.
"Papa, andito na ako." I then said. Tumango si Papa and slightly raised his hand as if acknowledging my presence.
Then a straight line appeared in the monitor on my front.
The doctor then announced Papa's expiration or time of death.
Papa wherever you are, I think you already know that I love you. Hindi man ako naging ganun ka-showy by telling it directly to you, at least, by being an obedient daughter, a responsible ate, a good student na laging may top sa klase, at hindi nagrebelde o naglayas even though I have reasons to do it, sana naramdaman mo na mahal na mahal kita.
Seven years has been swiftly passed by and there were times that I will visit his grave and will weep there because I feel so hopeless, frustrated and problematic.
I will stay there until I can feel that I am okay again. Parang yun na rin yung bonding naming mag-ama. Haha.
This article is for you. Happy Father's Day, Papa.
Thank you for being a good provider when you were still alive and until now for guiding me. Madalas kitang mapanaginipan na pinapagalitan mo ako because of some decisions that I made. Please continue guiding us and protecting our family. We love you, Papa.
(For the celebration of Father’s Day)
Strict, masungit, parang palaging galit, malutong magmura, nakakatakot. That’s how I will describe Papa. And I miss him so much.
It's been seven years since he left us and be with our Lord God. He was not a perfect father but I am beyond grateful for having him as my Papa.
Aaminin ko na lumaki akong hindi close sa kanya. Akala mo kasi lagi siyang galit. At nung bata pa ako, lagi talaga akong nakakatikim ng palo mula sa kanya.
He's been a very strict dad. Siguro dahil na rin sa only child ako until I was nine years old. Then when my younger brother came and I started to grow up, mas laso siyang naging mahigpit siya sa akin. Bawal akong lumabas ng bahay para maglaro, bawal ang hindi gumagawa ng assignment, bawal ang hindi nauubos ang pagkain, basta maraming bawal!
He burned my pocketbooks and crushed my tamagotchi kasi naadik ako sa mga iyon. Buti nalang yung mga writings ko noon like essays, short stories and poems na nababasa niya sa mga scratch papers at likod ng notebooks ko ay hindi niya pinupunit. Maybe because naisip niya na medyo may sense naman ang mga iyon. Haha.
When I started having crushes kasi nga lumalaki na ako, yari na!
Madalas mo nang maririnig sa kanya, "Bakit, may ipapalamon na ba sa'yo yan? Wala pa ngang sariling trabaho yan."
Sabi ko nga, Pa. Highschool students palang kami, malamang wala pa talagang trabaho bukod sa mag-aral.
-____-
When I entered college, he's always checking my class schedule but since I'm like BDO, I find ways to still make gala. haha.
Masarap sa pakiramdam na wala ka sa bahay , na hindi ka nasasakal and whenever I'm with my friends, I feel so alive. Mas nakaka-pag open up ako sa kanila at mas masaya ako.
I even came to think of graduating the soonest para makapag-trabaho na at umalis na ng bahay namin. He was against my initial desicion of taking up a two year course (sabik nga kasi akong maka-graduate kaagad.haha).
In the end, I realized that he was right, mas maganda pa rin ang bachelor's degree so I went for it.
Because of being a working student during that time, mas konti na ang oras ko sa bahay. Hindi ko na siya masiyadong nakikita at nakakausap. Mas iwas sa mga sermon at galit niya. Mas masaya!
When I was in second year college, he started to get sick. Labas pasok na siya ng ospital and I didn't had time para magbantay sa kanya kasi nga nag-aaral ako and at the same time ay nagtatrabaho rin. Usually si mama ang kasama niya.
One of the best things that he did for me, even though may sakit na siya at malaki na ang nagagastos sa hospital, was when he still let me have a debut party.
He was acting strong that time and mingled with my friends and with our relatives. By the way, he has diabetes and kidney malfunction.
Two months after my birthday, he was back in hospital, actually, maraming beses talaga siyang labas pasok ng hospital.
It was three in the morning when my mom called me and crying. Pumunta daw ako ng hospital ngayon na! Because Papa is looking for me and they can feel that this would be his last day here on Earth.
Actually, may work ako ng five a.m. that day but I've decided not to attend my work schedule.
At four in the morning, ay tinatahak ko na ang kahabaan ng EDSA while praying that Papa is still okay.
I reached the hospital before five a.m., I saw Mama with swollen eyes while holding Papa's hand. Marami ng aparato ang nakakabit kay Papa. He can't speak because of a tube in his mouth and Mama said that he can't see anymore even though his eyes were open.
Gusto kong umiyak but I decided not to. I held back my tears and held his hand.
"Pa, nandito na si Cielo." Mama then whispered at Papa's ears.
"Papa, andito na ako." I then said. Tumango si Papa and slightly raised his hand as if acknowledging my presence.
Then a straight line appeared in the monitor on my front.
The doctor then announced Papa's expiration or time of death.
Papa wherever you are, I think you already know that I love you. Hindi man ako naging ganun ka-showy by telling it directly to you, at least, by being an obedient daughter, a responsible ate, a good student na laging may top sa klase, at hindi nagrebelde o naglayas even though I have reasons to do it, sana naramdaman mo na mahal na mahal kita.
Seven years has been swiftly passed by and there were times that I will visit his grave and will weep there because I feel so hopeless, frustrated and problematic.
I will stay there until I can feel that I am okay again. Parang yun na rin yung bonding naming mag-ama. Haha.
This article is for you. Happy Father's Day, Papa.
Thank you for being a good provider when you were still alive and until now for guiding me. Madalas kitang mapanaginipan na pinapagalitan mo ako because of some decisions that I made. Please continue guiding us and protecting our family. We love you, Papa.
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